Community
After reading through the Annual Report, I'm wondering how well we really live out community at Cityside. There are a lot of aspects of community that I think are really difficult for us to translate into actions. Some of these are:
- Giving practical support to struggling individuals, couples, and people with young children;
- Being welcoming and inclusive toward 'new' members of the community - and 'non-members' of Cityside;
- Being available to and involved with others while honouring our own needs;
- Balancing acceptance and tolerance with personal responsibility and actions.
I know that I find it very difficult to actually live in and participate in a church community. Yet, I think my experience of being at Cityside and being peripherally involved with the people there has provided significant and important healing around my experience of church as community.
I believe that God wants us to live in community with one another. So, how do we do that in real and practical ways? How do we do it given the reality of our jobs, family committments, personal energy levels, and efforts to live balanced lives? How willing are we to even do what it takes to fulfill the reality of community?
I am also wondering if we are being honest with ourselves about our desire for "community" at Cityside. My personal instinct is to avoid groups, parties, and church services because I don't have the energy to give to people - and I feel guilty about that. It feels easier to drop out than to admit that I'm not able to give much - and haven't been able for some time. How much do we want the reality of living communally?
These are some of my thoughts. I have more, but I think it's best to stop here. I'll be interested to read the thoughts of others regarding this.
I think how effective we are
I think how effective we are at caring for one another depends on the ratio of burned out to non-burned-out people among us. If we heal from our burned-out-ness but then don't stick around to support those who are still in that place, and share what we've learned then we end up with a group of hurt people who don't have energy to support others. Hence Cityside becomes a place where people take, but don't give much.
I have had one or two people comment that Cityside IS, in fact, friendly. But they are friends, and already knew someone here.
Perhaps we could have more "official" welcome of visitors in the service, ie acknowledgement that they are here (without requiring them to make themselves known), and 'explanation' of cityside (eg "You are welcome to participate/not participate") from time to time? Also, we already have a door person to hand out newsletters. I think it's part of that job to be a little welcoming of people as they come in.
But yeah, in the end it's just how friendly we as individuals choose to be.
Community
Thanks for your thoughts Erin. i think the kind of community life you are talking about is very challenging given the demands on our time from so many spheres of life but absolutely worth doing what we can to move towards. I guess ideally pracitcal support would happen as a result of our interactions with one another outside of a Sunday meeting context. Our spread geographically doesn't help- it is not usually a case of popping down the road or even to the next street. And it does take time to form the kind of relationships which underpin community. But I also wonder whether sometimes its a case of us making a choice to be vulnerable enough to let our needs be known. I faced this a couple of years ago when I was struggling with something. I ended up looking through the address list and making a choice to reach out to someone who I thought might understand my situation. It felt a risk but in the end I decided it was worth taking. And I'm glad I did! We like to think the Citysider community is a place we can be real , be ourselves. I find there are times when I'm feeling vulnerable that I need to act on the basis that we are that kind of community.
Is I wonder if we need to continue to create a variey of opportunites for people to meet informally - like the pot lucks and the small groups and random film nights etc. It doesn't matter if numbers are small - sometimes that is an advantage. But we might also need some opportunities in smaller settings for sharing of stories and honest conversation too - I think that can help create a sense of belonging, but then again that may just reflect my particular personality. I also think there is much value in people getting together in twos and threes.
Those are just some initial thoughts which I don't really have contributed anything particular to the discussion! But I am very interested in how being a community works out in practice. Our family had one "go" at it quite a few years ago when a number of people bought houses within walking distance of each other. Unfortunately it was quite a negative experience for most of the people involved. In spite of that I something within me feels there is something valuable to be found in our shared life together that we haven't quite uncovered yet...